Tai, Sage & Roxie
by Sierra.Gem
Summary: The Eds meet their female counterparts. Let it be known that I'm not really committed to this. Edd/OC
1. Home Sweet Ed

A/N: Sorry this story isn't so good. Also, let it be known that I'm not fully committed to it, so this is just kind of a lazy thing for me. Sage went through SO MANY CHANGES, even her name, but the one recurring theme of hers was "these things just don't happen," so I had to keep that in there. BTW, Tai bursts out a line from my favorite character in _16 Candles_. It's pretty obvious.

[Setting: Sage's House...]

It was a cool, crisp fall day in Peach Creek - Sage's new home.

She took in the chilly breeze, closing her eyes and smiling. She and her parents had just arrived at their new house in this cul-de-sac. Sage knew that she'd have to get a brand new start with new friends at a new school, but she was willing to take whatever her new life threw at her.

She was kind of a nerd at her old school; she knew she would continue to be here. Sage couldn't help the fact that she was smarter than everyone else. The only people who really accepted her were her friends Tai and Roxie.

Tai was not the smartest person in the world, but the sweetest one you'll ever meet. She'd do anything for her friends, even if it made no sense.

Roxie was the craziest one. She wanted fame, fortune, and most of all, jawbreakers.

Come to think of it, they all loved jawbreakers. But Roxie loved them the most.

"Sage!" She could still almost hear Roxie's voice ringing in her head.

She made her way over to the two suitcases resting on her bed.

"Sage!" The voice grew louder.

Sage's heart beat. Was she delusional? No, she decided, she just missed her friends.

"Sage, get me out of here! Tai's foot is in my face!"

She paused. The voices were coming from her suitcase.

Sage ran and opened one, finding Tai and Roxie scrunched up in the bag. Upon seeing the light of day again, they popped out excitedly, enjoying some much-needed stretching.

"What are you guys doing here?" Sage panicked. "My parents will kill me if they find out that you're here! How are you here?"

"You really need to check your bags before you go, Sage," Roxie grinned, "you might lose something. Right, Tai?"

"No more yanky my wanky," Tai burst out, "the Donger need food!"

"Right. Anyways, where are we again?"

"You guys!" Sage groaned. "You! Can't! Be here!"

"Oh, yes, we can."

She sighed deeply, knowing that she wasn't going to get herself out of this. "We're in Peach Creek."

"Peach Creek." Roxie smiled. "Has a nice ring to it, don't you think, Tai?"

"My mom wears rings all the time!" Tai exclaimed. "But sometimes, she loses them, and then she'll go, 'Where are those f-'"

"Thank you, Tai." Sage interrupted.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Roxie asked. "Let's go outside, meet our new neighbors!"

As she and Tai headed for the door, Sage stopped them. "Wait!"

They turned around.

"You guys can stay here, under the condition that you hide from my parents totally. I'll bring you breakfast and dinner and all that. Stay in my room in the house unless they're gone and I'll tell you when they come back."

"Jeez, sounds like jail."

"Well, that's what you get for being stowaways, isn't it?"

"Fine."

"We agree to these terms and conditions, Sage!" Tai nodded.

"Good." Sage sighed with relief.

"Now let's go meet the neighbors!" Roxie ran outside, Tai in hand, who was herself dragging Sage.

[Setting: Outside in the cul-de-sac...]

Roxie ran outside, spinning and twirling around happily. "Ah, fresh air!" She grinned. "At last!"

"I believe I can fly!" Tai giggled, running around with her.

Sage shook her head and rolled her eyes. "You guys need to get a grip."

"Come on, Sage, have some fun!" Roxie laughed.

"Fine." She hesitantly stretched her arms out and spun around, feeling herself get looser and looser. "Okay, you guys, maybe you have a point!"

They ran around, spinning and laughing, Sage actually enjoying herself, until she tripped and fell backwards into a giant bowl.

Suddenly, a rope snapped and the bowl shot into the air.

"Sage!" Roxie called nervously.

She landed on the ground, hitting her head hard on a wall. She began to see stars and angels who looked like Tai and Roxie.

"Are you okay? Answer me! What's seven times seven?"

No, she realized, it was them.

"Forty-nine."

"Crap. I thought the collision would make you less smart."

Yes, Sage decided, it was definitely them.

"My catapult!"

"Catapult?" Sage sprung up at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. It was a boy, kind of raspy, very loud. "I was in a catapult?"

She then saw three guys, one in a yellow shirt, one in a green jacket, and one with a red shirt and a ski hat, heading towards her.

"You're the one who screwed up the catapult?!" Yellow Shirt glared at her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what was going on! You see, I'm new here and-"

"I don't care! You-wait..." A devilish smirk emerged on his face. "You're new here?"

"Yes. I'm Sage, and these are my friends-"

"Roxie," Roxie stuck her hand out to him, "at your service."

"I am the walrus!" Tai exclaimed.

"She's Tai. Don't mind her."

"You are the walrus?!" Green Jacket repeated. "How do you eat with those tusks?"

Tai's eyes lit up. "I love Fleetwood Mac!"

"What's that?"

"Fleetwood Mac was a band." Sage replied. "It included Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks, and-"

"You know," Tai interrupted, "I never got why a guy was named Lindsey and a girl was named Stevie!"

"Would you shut up?" Yellow Shirt snapped. "Anyways, I think I've found a way for you to make this whole incident up to us..."

"And what would that be?" Sage inquired.

"Got any money on you?"

"Well, yes, I do, but-"

"Good! We'll show you to the store, and you'll buy us jawbreakers!"

"Jawbreakers?" Roxie shrieked. "I want in, Sage!"

"Me too!" Tai clapped excessively until Roxie closed her hands.

"Guys, I only have enough money for three, if they go for the same price out here."

"Fine." Roxie sulked. "Okay, so who are you guys, anyway?"

"He's Ed," Yellow Shirt pointed to Green Jacket, "he's other Edd, but you can call him Double D," he referred to Ski Hat, "and I'm Eddy."

"Whoa." Tai's eyes widened. "Mental mindblower."

"Eddy, huh?" Roxie raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you know...okay, let's see here. My sister. Um...does your brother-wait, do you have an older brother?"

"Yes."

"Okay, wait, does he know a Krishna?"

"No."

"A Jennifer?"

"No."

"A Mademoiselle Gwyneth Cabot, Exotic Go-Go Dancer of the 1800s?"

"I don't think so."

"Then he must know her by one of her other names." Roxie shrugged. "I give up! Let's go get those freaking jawbreakers!"

"Jawbreakers!" Ed repeated.

He, Roxie, Tai, and Eddy walked away.

"Stupid catapult," Sage grumbled. "Can't get a break..."

"Do you need any help?"

She turned her head to see that Edd was still there. "Oh, hi. Yeah, sure, I guess I could use some help."

He grabbed her hand and helped her up. But he didn't let go.

Sage had only felt like this once in her life. It was when Tai and Roxie first became friends with her. She didn't have any friends, so she thought to herself, "It's not real. I don't have friends now. These things just don't happen."

But looking into this guy's eyes, someone she just met...no. These things just didn't happen.

They just stared at each other for a little while longer until they both snapped back into reality.

Edd quickly yanked his hand away and laughed nervously. "We should be going now, shouldn't we?"

"Yeah, I guess we should." Sage shrugged, not going to allow herself to be disappointed.

[Setting: Candy store...]

"This is depressing." Roxie groaned, sitting outside of the candy store with the Eds, who were enjoying jawbreakers.

"I'm broke." Sage concluded. "My parents will be so mad!"

"So what was with the catapult, anyways?" She asked the Eds.

"It was part of one of our scams." Eddy shrugged.

"Scams?"

"It's just for money. And we only scam the kids in our neighborhood."

"Are they easy to scam?" Roxie grinned.

Eddy narrowed his eyes at her. "If you're thinking of stealing our thunder-"

"What thunder, Mr. Catapult?"

"You're too inexperienced. I've been pulling scams since before I could talk!"

"And how do you know we haven't?"

"But we haven't, Roxie." Sage whispered.

Roxie elbowed her sharply in the ribs. "Go on, tell us! We'd love to hear!"

"You wanna start something, Girl-Whose-Name-Escapes-Me?" Eddy glared.

"Roxie. It's Roxie. And you know it, fool."

"I pity the fool!" Tai stood up angrily.

Sage rolled her eyes.

"Come on, girls, we've got some scamming to do." Roxie pulled Tai away.

"Not if we beat you to it!" Eddy pulled Ed away.

"Sage!"

"Double D!"

"I seriously apologize in advance." Sage got up from where she sat.

"As do I." Edd smiled a bit. "You know, I built that catapult."

"Really? Well, you built it very well. Nearly killed me!"

He turned pale. "Yes, well, I'm terribly sorry about that. I'll-"

She erupted into laughter. "You should've seen your face!"

He lowered his eyes, blushing furiously.

"But seriously," she sighed, "don't let Roxie get to you. Deep down, she means well...some of the time."

He emit a slight chuckle. "I should, um, go." He ran off after his friends.

Sage stood there alone before shuffling down the sidewalk, heading to her house. At least trying to get her allowance back would take her mind off of Edd for a while. These things...they just didn't happen!


	2. To Ed or Not to Ed

A/N: Okay, I wanted to do a school play, just for an effect. I wanted to do _Grease_, but I felt like that was too...fourth-wall-ish, can I say? (And I can't really, considering how the fourth wall was never really a problem in EENE.) So I've decided to make a REALLY obvious parody of the play. Does anyone get the Hand Jive joke? Hope you enjoy!

[Setting: Peach Creek Jr. High...]

"Got to think, got to think..." Roxie mumbled. She'd been trying for days now to formulate a good scam in her head to show those Eds who was boss.

"Can you think away from my locker?" Sage sighed, exasperated.

"Why? What crawled up your-"

"If you must know," she interrupted, "I've just got a lot on my mind. I mean, having just moved here...I don't know what to do."

"Well, what do you want to do?"

"Well, the first thing I want to do is..." She hesitated. "Make friends." She replied quickly. "I want to make friends."

That seemed too forced to Roxie, but she took it anyways. "Well, look on the bulletin board or something. Should be something there for you to do." She took Sage by the hand and dragged her over to the board, which was rife with posters. It was the beginning of the school year, after all. Then a certain form stuck out to her. "Hey, look at this!"

"What?" Sage inquired.

"'Peach Creek Jr. High School Play: _That '50s Musical!_' That sounds fun, doesn't it, Sage?"

"No. You know I can't sing!"

"Well, I can." Roxie grinned. "If I get the lead, I'll become more popular, then I'll have more friends, and therefore, there'll be more unsuspecting victims!"

"That's not really a good reason to join a play!"

"Nothing's ever a good enough reason to do anything to you, huh, Brainy?" She got up in Sage's face. "Let's get Tai. I am so auditioning!"

[Setting: PCJH Auditorium...]

Roxie looked around at all the other people in the auditorium, some people chatting.

She turned to her friends. Sage, as usual, was reading, evidently to take her mind off of the pre-audition jitters. Tai was playing a game of Pocket Chess with herself and seemed to be getting pretty angry at the winning side.

She looked back at the others. There was a blonde girl, a boy holding a wooden board with a face, a boy with a backwards baseball cap, a small redhead girl, a boy with a metal mouth, and a boy with blue hair. Hmm...the Eds were nowhere to be found.

Just how she wanted it.

"Wait." Baseball Cap pointed at them. "Who are you?"

"Me?" Roxie nudged Sage and Tai. "I'm Roxie."

"I'm Sage." Sage didn't look up from her book.

"I'm a squirrel!" Tai folded her hands together and began chittering.

"She's Tai." Roxie corrected.

"Cool!" The blonde smiled. "I'm Nazz. You guys trying out for the play too?"

"Yeah. Sage here is a bit nervous." She petted Sage's head, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Back in Rolf's village, the street performers would give this advice: don't count your chickens unless they cry wolf, or your pigs will be eaten by Grandmama!" The blue-haired boy exclaimed.

"Um..." Roxie was speechless. "That's...nice. I'll...keep that in mind."

"Isn't this so exciting, Sarah?" Metal Mouth squealed. "Finally, a chance to be part of the dramatic arts!"

She tried to hide her laughter at that weird kid. He was scam bait.

As if on cue, the door slammed open.

"What are you guys doing here?" Baseball Cap rolled his eyes.

"We're here for the play, Kevin, my boy!" Eddy wrapped an arm around his shoulders, putting him in a headlock. "Just the same as all of you!"

"Did you meet Roxie, Tai, and Sage yet?"

His face fell, turning into a glare. "You again."

"Did you miss me?" Roxie smiled smugly. "I'm going to get the lead in the play, by the way. I just know it."

"What's this play even about?" Sage piped up, closing her book.

She looked down at the flier she stole. "'We go back to the fifties, the era of malt shops, sock hops, and the Hand Jive!'"

"And they allow this in schools?" Eddy made a disgusted face.

"'Meet Annie, a beautiful, sweet girl who has just transferred to Ryder High! She joins the Puce Women, a group led by saucy Betsy Ritzo.'" Roxie's eyes lit up. She knew she'd be perfect for that. "'Now meet Randy, big man on campus at Ryder, the leader of his gang called the Z-Squirrels, followed only by his best friend Limerickey. When they meet and fall in love, how do they find their way through high school?'"

"That sounds awfully clichéd and familiar." Sage observed.

"Say what you will, but I think I'd make a perfect Annie." She grinned proudly.

"Well, I guess we'll see what happens."

"I hate it when you say that." Roxie huffed.

[Setting: PCJH, a day later...]

"The cast list is up!" Roxie grinned, startling Sage, who jumped and shrieked. "What's your deal?" She asked after Sage calmed down.

"Look, what do you want?" She managed to get out while hyperventilating.

"I told you, the cast list is up! You know, for _That '50s Musical!_"

"Gee, I wonder who got the part of Annie." She murmured sarcastically.

"Well, you'll never get to justify your snide comment if you don't come and see!"

They walked over to the bulletin board, meeting Tai on the way. The rest of the kids who were at rehearsal were standing there too.

CAST FOR _THAT '50s MUSICAL!_:

Randy - Edd

Annie - Sage

Betsy - Roxie

Limerickey - Eddy

Foody - Kevin

Runny - Jimmy

Nutsy - Jonny

Germany - Tai

Tan - Sarah

Hearty - Nazz

Tween Angel - Plank

"I am a country!" Tai exclaimed happily.

"What do you mean, I'm playing Betsy?" Roxie snarled, turning to Sage. "Traitor!"

"I'm sorry!" Sage apologized. "I didn't think this was going to happen! I didn't even want to be-"

"Just shut it! I've had enough of you! Have fun with Loverboy!" And with that, she stormed off.

"What did she mean by..." She trailed off. She knew what Roxie meant.

Edd being Randy, they'd have to be dating in the play. Like, boyfriend-girlfriend dating. She just couldn't face that.

Sage looked at him. He didn't seem much happier than she did.

Eddy was laughing hysterically at the thought of his friend in a romantic role, however. "I can't imagine you anywhere near a girl, Double D!" He snickered.

"Um..." She nearly spoke. She tried to stuff her voice back into her mouth, but Edd had heard her. "I just want to say, um...let's not make this awkward."

"Aww," Tai squealed, "you guys are going to be so cute together!"

_That certainly didn't help_, Sage thought wearily.

"Wait a sec..." Edd grinned. "Eddy, if you're Limerickey...you have to be dating Roxie."

His face fell. "_What?!_ I have to go out with that twerp?!"

"Hey, can't wait to work with you guys!" Nazz tapped Sage on the shoulder.

Edd snickered into his hand as Eddy banged his head against the wall repeatedly.

"I have to be next best to _them_?" Kevin groaned, glaring at the Eds. "Whatever. I'm out of here." He walked away.

"I've always wanted to be a greaser!" Jimmy admitted to Sarah.

"Wow, Plank!" Jonny exclaimed, talking to the wooden board. "You've got a pretty big role!"

"That's Plank?" Sage inquired. "Then how can he...never mind. I don't want to know."

What had started out as something to take her mind off of her strong affection for Edd just led her back to it.

Sage gulped. She always knew that the '50s would be the death of her.


	3. Ed Is a Many Splendored Thing

A/N: Looking forward to this chapter! Please let the record show, and I tried to show it, that Edd is really nervous in the last scene and doesn't really know what he's doing.

[Setting: Sage's Room...]

Sage and Roxie lay on separate sides of the bed, studying the script for _That '50s Musical! _

Sage looked up, her eyes locked on her friend. "So we're cool now, right?"

"Would you stop asking that?" Roxie chuckled. "Of course we are. I overreacted. You're going to be great. Besides, you can endorse me when the audience goes gaga over you."

"I'll...see what I can do."

There was soft tapping on the window. Roxie leapt up and removed the orange shutters, which went with the light orange wallpaper, to see Tai staring back at her. She opened the window and let her in.

"It's so hard to get up here!" Tai complained, shutting the window behind her.

"Well, that's what you get for tagging along with me." Sage replied.

"Hey," Roxie shrugged, "if it wasn't for us, would you have met most of the kids we know? Would you have gotten the lead role in this play? Would you have even tried out?"

_Would I have even met Double D? _She immediately thought."No, I suppose not."

"I think that Kevin kid is cute." Tai piped up. "I ran into him on the way here. Literally. He almost ran me over with his bike."

"Okay, calm yourself, woman." Roxie shook her head. "You're getting into that already?"

"Yeah, I mean, we just moved here." Sage agreed, all the while thinking, _How can I be such a hypocrite?_

"Well, the entire play is based on dating and all that!" Tai observed.

"Don't remind me."

"It's not that bad, Sage." Roxie growled. "At least you're not dating Eddy in the play."

"He's not so bad."

"He's just really irritating! I just want to slip my hands around his neck and throttle him!"

"Well, when you're acting, don't think of him as Eddy, think of him as Limerickey, okay?" She suggested.

"Fine. But I won't be happy about it."

"If you're happy and you know it, eat your hat!" Tai exclaimed.

"I'll stick to jawbreakers for now, thanks." Roxie sniffed.

[Setting: Eddy's House...]

"'Don't worry, babe, the only reason they can't accept us is because they've never felt this way.'" Eddy read. "Who writes this stuff?"

"Oh, Eddy," Edd shook his head, "I don't think I can do this!"

"Sure you can, Sockhead. Just picture everyone naked."

He immediately went pale. "Thank you, Eddy, but I think I'll reserve myself for another method."

"Suit yourself."

After Edd got some disturbing images out of his head, he decided to flip through the script, and came to a page with dialogue between Annie and Randy. Something triggered in his mind, but he didn't know how to express it. "I wonder what it'll be like having the new girls in the play." He managed.

"Them again." Eddy rolled his eyes bitterly. "I don't know what their problem is! Don't they know that they can't dethrone the King of Scams?"

He was silent. They didn't seem so bad to him. Roxie did seem a bit difficult, and he never really knew what Tai was talking about half the time...Okay, maybe he wasn't too fond of them, but he didn't find anything wrong with Sage.

Just thinking about her made him uncomfortably tingly inside. He hadn't stopped thinking about her since they'd kind-of-sort-of-not-really held hands the other day, but he didn't know how to act on what he felt.

"Eddy?" He piped up.

"Yeah?"

"How do you impress a girl?"

Eddy was silent for a bit, then burst into laughter. "I think this play is really getting to you, Double D." He sighed, trying to calm himself down.

"But how would you go about it?"

"Why?"

"Because...because I'm doing a scientific study on how the female mind works." He lied.

"Face it, no one's ever going to figure out how the female mind works, but if you really want to try, I could give you some pointers."

Edd grinned. Surely this would help him...he hoped.

[Setting: Sage's House...]

Sage stared down at the book she had in her hand - F. Scott Fitzgerald's _The Great Gatsby_. She looked around the room and smiled to herself. "A good book, peace and quiet, and no Roxie or Tai to bother me." She opened her book and prepared to read until she heard tapping on the window. "Really? It couldn't have lasted for longer?"

When she removed the curtains, she expected to see Tai or Roxie, but instead she saw Edd.

Stunned, she opened the window and let him in. "Double D," she smiled, "what a nice surprise."

He gulped a little. "What's happening, hot stuff?" He managed with an unassured smile.

_Wait, what did he just say to me? _Sage thought. "Um...not much, you?"

"Not a lot. Want to sit down? Your feet must be tired."

"They are." She suddenly noticed her legs growing weak. "Huh. But how did you know?"

He hesitated. "Because you were hanging out in my dreams all night."

_Is he...flirting with me? _"You're funny." She giggled. "Where'd you get all these lines?"

"I don't know, maybe I'm just inspired by your beauty."

Sage blushed. "You flatter me too much, you know that?"

Just then, a buzzer sounded and a red light flashed around the room.

"What's going on?" Edd asked, taken by surprise.

"Oh, no!" She panicked. "My parents are mad at me! That's how they tell me what they want to tell. They have this whole noise-and-lights system. Like, if dinner's ready, they-look, I can't explain this to you! You have to leave!"

He climbed out the window and then disappeared.

Sage flew down on her bed, her heart pounding, her eardrum bleeding. "He likes me." She whispered.


	4. Romeo and JuliEd

/N: This is becoming a little more like _Romeo and Juliet _than I want, but the plot will stray a little farther than just the Edd/Sage storyline. We'll see more of all the girls' escapades.

[Setting: PCJH, at Eddy's locker...]

Eddy rummaged through his locker, throwing random things out of it every which way. Edd and Ed were standing by him.

"Eddy," Edd sighed, exasperated, "what are you even looking for?"

"The equipment!" He replied.

"Equipment for what?"

"For the new scam! The one that'll knock Roxie off her high horse!"

"I like horses, Eddy!" Ed stated.

Meanwhile, Sage, Tai, and Roxie were hiding behind the locker on the end.

"Sage, what are we doing here?" Roxie snapped.

"Guys...I have a crush on someone, and I think he likes me back." Sage giggled. "I just want to go talk to him."

"Okay. We're going to the auditorium to rehearse. You know, do something worthwhile." She and Tai strutted off.

Sage slowly made her way over to the Eds. "Um, Double D?" She spoke up.

They all turned to look at her.

"Sage!" Edd smiled. "So nice to see you!"

"Can I just ask you something?"

"Sure!"

"In private?" She glanced at Eddy.

"Hey," he snarled, "if you have anything to say, say it in front of us, so we know you're not plotting against us for that twerp Roxie."

"Um...everything yesterday...were you flirting with me? Did you mean all that?"

"I-" Edd began.

"Seriously?" Eddy interrupted, laughing. "He's doing a study on the female brain, aren't you, Double D?"

Sage's face fell. "Oh. Well...I'll see you at rehearsals, okay?"

"Yes," Edd agreed in his soft-spoken way, "I guess we will."

She walked away, screwing her eyes shut, trying not to cry, but it was inevitable.

Sage remembered her mother telling her once that she should never get married, and that she should always be careful about everything, because someday she might get an accident like herself. Maybe she was onto something.

Back at the lockers, Edd sighed guiltily.

"What's wrong, Sockhead?" Eddy inquired. "Get a detention or something?"

"Eddy," he lowered his eyes, "can I tell you something?"

"We are all ears, Double D!" Ed exclaimed, but Edd covered his mouth.

"You can't tell anyone!"

"We will be as quiet as socks on a mosquito!"

"I...I think I like Sage a little more than I should."

"Sage?" Eddy groaned. "Double D, she's the enemy! You can't like her!"

"I know, but I can't help it!"

"Well, you're going to have to! Besides, it'll be less painful when we crush their spirit! This scam's going to be the scam of the century, I tell you!" His smile was growing larger as he got more excited.

Edd gulped. Breaking Sage's spirit was the last thing he'd want to do.

[Setting: PCJH, in the auditorium...]

Sage read over her script. She was attempting to memorize her lines, and had come to a scene between Annie and Randy. "'But why would a guy like you go for a girl like me?'" She read.

"Why would you ask that? How are you much different from us?"

She looked up to see who had responded and saw Edd, grinning at her, showing that goofy gap in his teeth she found so cute. "Oh. Hello. I see you've been memorizing."

"I just want to say that I'm sorry." He apologized. "If I may have hurt your feelings in any way, I deeply apologize for it."

"It's okay." She shrugged as he sat down next to her. "I hope I helped your study."

"You did."

"Double D?"

"Yes?"

"Real or not real, I was really 'hanging out in your dreams?'"

"Well, not that real." He lied.

"I can live with that. Real or not real, you weren't totally freaked out by the alarm system?"

"Not real. That scared me to death."

"That's how my parents communicate with me." She shrugged, a bit embarrassed. "I forgot to momentarily disable the camera they don't know I know is in my room, so they saw you and got really mad that I was unsupervised with a boy in my room."

"My parents communicate with me through Post-it notes. Don't feel so bad."

"Really?" She giggled.

Edd found her laughter so infectious, so melodious, that he had to join in.

When the laughter had died, he, looking into Sage's blue eyes, desperately wanted to know what was on her mind.

He glanced down at her hand. _If you could do it once, Eddward, _he thought, _you can do it again._

Slowly but surely, he laced his fingers through hers.

Sage blushed. "You're holding my hand. Real or not real?"

"Real."

[Setting: Sage's House...]

"So how'd things go at school, Annie Reed?" Roxie inquired slyly, painting her nails as she did.

"They actually went really well," Sage shrugged, "but I don't really know where we stand."

"And who's the lucky eggplant?" Tai giggled.

"Do you guys promise not to make fun of me?"

"Oh, Sage, we'd never!" Roxie promised, her fingers crossed behind her back.

"Okay." She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I think I have a crush on Double D."

Her mouth hung open. "I'm sorry. I think I heard you wrong. Please repeat that."

"I think I have a crush on Double D."

"But you can't."

"Why can't I?"

"Because he's in league with that jerk Eddy!" She held her head in her hands. "Look, young grasshopper-"

"Don't call me that."

"Point is, I know you like him, but can't you just let him go for a little while?"

"Until how long?"

"Until we destroy them, that's all!"

"Roxie, please, I promise I won't let him get in the way of anything!"

"Case closed, Sage!"

"You're not the boss of me!"

Roxie fumed, but then calmed herself down. "Look, I don't want to fight again, but do you know how much of a betrayal this is to me?"

"I guess I know." She sighed, her eyes lowered to the floor.

"Good. We'll talk about this later." She opened the window and climbed out of it. "I'm going to go beg for cash by the candy store."

"What?"

"Hey, I'm adorable. Who can't resist me?"

When she disappeared, Tai gingerly sat down next to the sulking Sage. "I think it's really cute how you like him." She giggled. "Look, if you want to get together with him, I'll keep it from Roxie, okay?"

"Why would you do that?" Sage murmured.

"Because I'm your friend. And she is too, but she's just being protective of you."

"Tai...thank you."

"No problem. Want to go get some turkey-and-Fruit Loops pizza?"

"And she returns." She sighed. "I guess I do owe you one."

"Yay!"


	5. Edventures in Babysitting

A/N: I wanted to steer away from the Edd/Sage stuff, so here's a funny little chapter for y'all. This episode takes a lot of influence from "Sir Ed-a-Lot" and it's very obvious.

[Setting: Sage's House...]

"Slowly...slowly...slowly..." Sage whispered.

She thought she might actually do it; she might actually achieve what she'd been striving to do for years, and that was to make a house of cards.

She slowly positioned the last card before gingerly placing it in its proper spot.

The window opened.

Sage shrieked and jumped. Only when she calmed down did she notice the pile of cards. "Dang it!" She groaned. "Why do you two keep sneaking up on me?"

"You shouldn't leave your window open, Sage." Roxie sniffed. "Haven't you ever seen a horror movie?"

"An axe murderer will come into your room and kill you and drink your blood and-" Tai began.

"Thank you for sharing, Tai." Sage shuddered.

"I just wanted to tell you that we have a little extra cash coming towards us tonight." Roxie stated.

"How? You didn't murder anyone, did you?"

"Come on, Sage, that's low, even for me. No, we're babysitting tonight."

"Babysitting?" Sage's eyes went wide. "You know I'm inept at taking care of children, Roxie!"

"So what are you going to do when you and Double D have abnormally smart babies?"

"That's not funny, Roxie." She blushed. "So who are we babysitting?"

"It's a surprise."

"I hate surprises."

"And children, we know."

"She's right, Roxie!" Tai observed. "Children are scary! They stick gum in your hair and glue your hands together and duct tape your mouth shut and tie you to a chair with a rope!"

"It's not going to be _that _bad, Tai."

[Setting: Sarah's Room...]

"Okay," Roxie whimpered, "maybe it is going to be that bad."

Sage was tied to a chair with a jump rope, pink duct tape covering her mouth, and her hands in handcuffs behind her back, kicking and emitting muffled screams.

Sarah, Ed's little sister, and her friend Jimmy, who didn't look so bad to Roxie before, were cracking up beside her. She and Tai had thought it was sort of funny until they turned sharply to them.

"Which one of you wants to be next?" Sarah smirked.

"I'm not!" Tai jumped into Roxie's arms, shivering.

"Get off me!" Roxie dropped her on the floor. Tai then hung onto her leg. "Okay, little girl, _we're _the babysitters, so you have to do as _we _say."

"Says who?" Sarah snarled.

"Who do you think you are?"

"I'm the queen of this house, and you are all my subjects!"

"Listen to Queen Sarah!" Jimmy ordered.

"Like I'd listen to you, Pipsqueak!" Roxie snapped.

"Would you like to go join your friend over there?" Sarah motioned to Sage.

"_Mmm mmm mmm_!" Nobody could make out Sage's plea for help.

"No!" Tai shivered. "No, Queen Sarah!"

"You're giving up too easily." Roxie rolled her eyes. "You need to show force with these snot-nosed little brats. Okay, listen up, you guys, I'm-" She was struck by a pillow, pushing her across the room and into the wall.

Sarah and Jimmy howled with laughter.

"What do they put in these pillows nowadays?" She rubbed her sore cheek.

"Maybe we should try playing by their rules." Tai suggested. "Then they won't want to kill us anymore!"

"Is this what I've come to?" Roxie sighed. "Fine. Listen up, brats! If you let Sage go, we'll do whatever you want, okay?"

"Whatever we want?" Sarah smiled slyly.

"Whatever you want."

"Fine."

They untied Sage, who was hyperventilating, breathing in the air she had lacked. "Oh, thank God." She sighed with relief. "Never had I seen _Lord of the Flies _so vividly played out in reality."

"How is this Ed's sister?" Tai shook her head. "I've never seen him act _anything _like this."

"Well, one of them was dropped on their head as a baby." Roxie murmured. "That's the only reasonable explanation."

"I was dropped on my head as a baby! Mom told me so!"

"And you're proud of that?"

"Yeah!"

"Roxie!" Sarah hollered.

"What, devil spawn?" Roxie replied.

"We want to be entertained!"

"So does everyone, kid."

"You'll entertain us _now_!"

"Fine, what do you want?"

"Well..." Jimmy thought for a minute. "Start with some jokes! Bring forth the royal fool!"

Roxie and Tai knelt down next to Sage. "You can be the 'royal fool' or whatever!" Tai suggested.

"Me?" Sage replied.

"Yeah!"

"Why can't Roxie? She knows more jokes than I do!"

"Yeah, but I can't tell those kinds of jokes to the pipsqueaks! I have _some _sense of responsibility! You do it!"

"Tell us a joke right now!" Tai prompted.

"Okay, why did the baby cross the road?" Sage began.

"I don't know." She shrugged.

"Because he was stapled to the chicken!"

She and Roxie were silent. "Wow, you're unfunny." Roxie shook her head. "Just get out there!"

Roxie shoved Sage in front of Sarah and Jimmy, who were sitting on poorly constructed thrones.

"Okay, um..." Sage thought. "Why was the mushroom invited to the party?"

There was silence.

"Because he was a fungi! Why did the fungi leave the party?"

Still no responses.

"Because there wasn't mush room! Get it?"

Sarah and Jimmy just glowered at her.

"So what's the deal with airline food?"

"You're not funny!" Sarah hollered.

"So I've heard." Sage scowled, rolling her eyes.

"Did you just talk back to your queen?"

"Yes! No! Maybe! I don't know!" She panicked.

"I sentence you to ten years in the dungeon!"

"To the dungeon you go!" Jimmy grabbed Sage and led her down some stairs.

"Hold it right there, jerkwad!"

He turned around and saw Tai, a plastic sword outstretched at his forehead.

"You rough up my friend, I might have to rough you up a little, and you don't want that." She turned to Sarah. "You want to play, little brat? Fine, I'll play your games, but we're playing by my rules!"

"I order you to-" Sarah began.

"Shut up!" Tai interrupted.

Sarah wilted.

"Now I don't like being mean, but if you guys want to wage war, then fine! War it is!"

The clock then beeped, signaling that it was 10:00.

"It's time for you guys to go to sleep! Jimmy, I'm assuming you're staying here tonight?"

He nodded.

"Good. Now go upstairs!."

Sarah and Jimmy shuffled off to her room while Sage and Roxie stared in awe at Tai.

"Tai..." Sage shook her head in disbelief. "Where did that come from?"

"Where did what come from?" Tai questioned.

"That sudden burst of authority?"

"Well, I thought that since they were being mean, I should go with the theme! I thought I acted like a pirate! Did you see my sword?"

"You were 'going with the theme.'" Sage deadpanned.

"Yeah! Did I hurt their feelings?" She frowned. "I feel bad now."

"It's okay, Tai. No one's mad at you except maybe them, but they deserved it."

"Aww, you guys are great!" She brightened up. "Want to watch Ultimate Fris-Pong on TV?"

"What's that?" Roxie inquired.

"It's a mix of Ultimate Frisbee and ping-pong!"

"I don't see how that works," Sage shrugged, "but okay!"

"Great!" Tai smiled. "I'll go turn on the TV!"

As she bounded off, Roxie shook her head. "I really don't get that girl sometimes."


	6. DefeatEd

A/N: Wanted to return back to the play. Here goes nothing! Also, I need to come up with better references than Romeo and Juliet. Hang in there.

[Setting: PCJH, in the auditorium...]

The tension in the auditorium was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

Well, not between most people, but it was the truth in the case of Eddy and Roxie.

She just stared down at her script while he looked absently around the room.

"Okay, this is absolutely stupid." Roxie spoke. "Do we really have to do this together?"

"Do you really think I even want to be _near _you?" Eddy shot back.

"You're exhausting, you know that? You've only said one thing to me, and already you're annoying!"

"If anyone in this room is annoying, it's me?!"

"That's what I'm saying! Now can we just get this over with?"

"Fine." He rolled his eyes. Ever since he got involved in this play, it became more of a nuisance to him. First of all, he had to spend more time with Roxie than he could stand, though he couldn't stand her at all, and second, the less excited he got, the more excited Edd got, it seemed.

Eddy glanced over at his friend. He was talking to Sage, who was very intrigued by what he was saying. It was probably, he guessed, some scientific stuff that nobody else but them would understand.

"You're staring into space, idiot." Roxie groaned. "You know, you're a crazy money-grubbing freak, which makes you so unpleasant to work with."

"That makes two of us then."

"Ugh!" She huffed, stomping her foot and storming away.

"Annie and Germany, to the stage!" Rolf, who didn't get a major role in the play and decided to become assistant director, hollered.

Sage politely ended her conversation and met Tai on the stage.

"Scene Two...and action!"

Sage wandered around the stage until she "bumped into" Tai. "Oh, hello!" She smiled. "I'm sorry. I'm new here and I'm a bit confused."

"Really?" Tai shrugged. "That's okay! I'm Germany!"

"I'm Annie. Nice to meet you." Sage shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you too. So you're really new to Ryder High?"

"Yes, I am, and I don't know anybody."

"Well, you know me now! And I can introduce you to the Puce Women!"

"The Puce Women?" Sage repeated. "Who are they?"

"The group of girls I'm part of! We rule the school, but if you want to be part of us, you really need to get onto Betsy Ritzo's good side. She's the leader."

"Is she nice?"

"Once you get to know her...Don't worry, I'll help you, Annie. Oh, and one more thing."

"Yeah?"

"Stay away from the Z-Squirrels. They're this group of greasers in the school, led by Randy. Avoid him at all costs."

"But why?"

"Just trust me, Annie, he'll break your heart."

"Okay, Germany, I'll take your word for it."

"Good! Now come on! I want to introduce you to Ritzo!" Tai pulled Sage offstage, laughing. "We did it!" She whispered as the next people prepared for their scene. "You're going to do great as Annie!"

"Thanks, Tai, I think you're going to do really well too." She smiled. _I really hope she's right_, she thought. _The last thing I want to do is screw up in front of everybody one more time_.

[Setting: PCJH cafeteria...]

Sage was sitting alone at lunch while Tai and Roxie got lunch elsewhere. She didn't really want to leave school for fear that she might not make it back in time. Also, she wasn't entirely sure that they were allowed to do that in the first place, but Roxie had no regard for rules and Tai just went along with her.

"Sage?"

She looked up and smiled at Edd. "Hi." She smiled.

"I noticed you were alone and you looked hungry, so I got you a peanut butter sandwich." He held it out to her. "I hope you don't mind."

"You're most kind, but I'm allergic to peanuts."

His face fell. "Oh. I see."

"But it's the thought that counts!" She laughed nervously before realizing she sounded stupid. "Um, don't you have somewhere to be? Like, people to sit with?"

"Why, you want to get rid of me?" He joked.

Sage smiled. "Well, if you insist on staying..." She moved over so he could sit next to her.

Little did they know that even though they were alone, they had company.

"Hey, Marie, isn't that your man over there?" Lee Kanker huffed.

Her sister Marie turned around, but then quickly went back to eating the enormous bucket of fried chicken in front of her. "Yeah, so what?"

"So there's some hussy over there trying to take him from you!"

"_What_?!" She turned sharply and her eyes locked on Sage, who, Marie thought, was too close for comfort to Edd. "When I get my hands on her..." She waited until Ed and Eddy had appeared in the doorway and were calling Edd.

"Looks like I'd better go with them." He told Sage.

"Have fun doing whatever you guys do." She replied.

"Until next time."

Sage smiled, watching him as he walked away. She was really warming up to him, and was happy that he just seemed to be warming up to her.

"Ahem!"

She turned around and saw Marie standing over her.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Marie Kanker, and this is for stealing my boyfriend!" She balled her hands into a fist and socked Sage in the eye.

"Ow!" She delicately rubbed her shiner. "I don't get it! Why are you so mad at me? What did I do?"

"You'd better back off Double D, or this will get uglier."

"I don't see your name on him." She retorted.

"Oh, you're gonna get it." Marie growled, preparing for another punch, when she was pushed down to the ground.

"Why don't you pick on someone as ugly as you?" Roxie snapped, turning to Sage. "Did she do this to you?"

"I can handle this myself, Roxie." Sage replied.

"No, you can't."

Marie got up, dusted herself off, and got up in Roxie's face. "If any of you go even one foot near my guy, you'll be pushing up daisies! Got it?"

While she stomped away, Roxie and Tai helped Sage up. "What does she mean by that?" Tai inquired.

"Double D. Who else?"

"Are you going to give him up for her?"

"Um, well..."

"Sage," Roxie crossed her arms, "you know I don't like this whole thing between you and Double D. But I sure don't like that Kanker girl."

"So you're not mad that I like him anymore?"

"I'm _less _mad."

"Good enough!"

"Also, you're cuter than Marie Kanker." Tai shrugged. "You'll have no problem."

"Thanks, guys."

"But you're not cute enough." Roxie observed. "You need a makeover."

"A what?"

"You heard what I said. I'm going to go get some makeup. And this is not an option!" She and Tai left the cafeteria.

"I know I'm going to regret this." Sage sighed.


	7. Ed Out of Luck

A/N: And so the nickname begins. This chapter's kinda pointless, but just a funny thing I wanted to add in. There's a twist at the end! It's really funny to imagine Sage talking like Olivia Newton-John. That's kinda how the first scene went in my head. Also, who remembers one of the quotes from the above scene in a previous chapter? And speaking of previous chapters, the whole makeover thing will come in the Halloween chapter. Stay tuned.

[Setting: Sage's House...]

"I'm sorry, but I'm new here, and everyone knows who you are, but I don't." Sage recited from memory.

"'The name's Randy.'" Tai read. "'I don't suppose you've heard of the Z-Squirrels?'"

"Randy? Oh, Germany's not going to like this."

"'Her? Why, what did she tell you?'"

"She told me to stay away from you, that you're not good for me. I'm sorry, I've said too much!"

"'Don't worry, babe, the only reason they can't accept us is because they've never felt this way.'"

"Really? Well, how do we feel?"

"'How about we see tomorrow night? I'll pick you up at 8:00.'"

"Sure."

"'Okay, later.'"

"Wait!"

"'What?'"

"But you can't tell Germany or Ritzo or any of the Puce Women anything!"

"'I promise I won't.'"

"Okay. Goodbye."

"And Randy exits stage right, Annie exits stage left." Tai nodded. "Done! You've really been working on your memorization, Sage!"

"Thanks." She shrugged.

"You're going to be such a good Annie! And you guys are going to be _so _cute together!"

Sage blushed, lowering her eyes. "I...I guess. If you say so."

"Aww, they grow up so fast."

"Ugh!" They turned to see Roxie dramatically roll her eyes from outside the window. Once they let her in, she groaned loudly. "You guys are just awful, do you know that?" She shook her head. "I'm never going to be like you guys, all obsessed with marriage and breeding and junk like that."

"No one said anything about marriage and breeding." Sage shuddered at the thought of it.

"Anyways, my fellow young women," Roxie began, "I've called you here today for one reason and one reason only."

"This is my house, and you didn't call us here." She observed.

She glared at her, before reverting back to her importance-signifying stance. "Today, we're going to be discussing the scam we're going to pull."

"Really?" Tai grinned. "Tell us! I'm so anxious, I could staple a dog to a frog!"

"I don't know what that means, but I like your enthusiasm." She narrowed her eyes at Sage. "Why can't you be more like her?"

Sage rolled her eyes. "Just get on with it."

"This scam is going to be the mother of all scams. And I should know. I live in a family of scammers! Uncle Sanchez, Cousin Shecky, my sister Lilly-"

"I thought it was Eleanor." She piped up.

"You told _me _it was Charmaine." Tai reminded her.

"Never mind." Roxie replied. "Now listen close, because this is going to be the best idea for a scam you've ever heard! It's the scammiest scam in the history of scams!"

"Roxie, we know what it is, you can stop saying the word 'scam.'" Sage sighed.

"Never! Now, before I announce it, we'll need a dramatic pause for effect."

They paused.

"Keep pausing."

They were silent for a little longer.

"Just a bit more."

They were still keeping quiet.

"Just a teensy-"

"You don't have a plan, do you?" Sage cut her off.

"What? Are you kidding me? I totally have a plan! I am the most plan-having person in the world! I've had plans since-no, I don't have a plan."

"I knew it!" She rolled her eyes.

"Look, I'm having scamnesia, okay? I can't think of anything to do!"

"Maybe we don't have to pull any scams!"

"But how else am I going to come into money _and _prove our power to the Eds besides scamming?"

"Marrying a Kennedy." Tai suggested.

"So what do you propose we do now, Roxie?" Sage inquired sarcastically.

"Look, I don't know!" Roxie snapped.

"I've talked to some of the neighborhood kids." Tai stated. "The Eds pull the most annoying scams."

"Which means they pull the best ones!" She realized. "Okay, to be like the enemy, we need to think like the enemy, we need to _know_ the enemy, we need to _be_ the enemy." She pointed at Sage. "You! You need a nickname!"

"Why?"

"Because we need to be the enemy!" She grabbed a pink-and-white beanie from the closet and propped it on Sage's head. "And wear that!"

"I'm sensing some familiarity here." She deadpanned.

"Tai, you go chase some chickens!"

"Can I chase some mongooses?" Tai suggested.

"Where the heck are you going to find any mongooses?!"

"I don't know." She mumbled, shrugging.

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Sage shot up.

"Your parents aren't home, are they?" Roxie suggested.

"No, but they have cameras, remember?"

"So wouldn't we be caught?"

"I disable the one in my room whenever you guys come in, remember?"

"No, I don't remember all this stuff, because what you say is all intelligent and boring. Now go answer the door, Fishface!"

"Fine." Before she left, she stared at Roxie one last time. "Please tell me that's not my new nickname."

"Go!"

Sage headed downstairs and answered the door, finding Ed standing there.

"Hello!" He exclaimed.

"Um, hi, Ed." She answered. "What's going on?"

"I am doing a survey. If you were to be forming a scam, what would your plans be?"

"Aha!" Roxie shot downstairs, Tai in tow. "I knew it! They're onto us! We were thinking like the enemy by thinking like the enemy!"

"You lost me." Tai shook her head, perplexed.

"That's it, I'm going over there. Where are your little doofus friends?"

"You mean the leprechauns?" Ed replied.

"You know leprechauns?!" Tai grinned.

"No, Eddy and Double D!" Roxie snarled.

"Oh, they're at Eddy's house!"

"Thanks, bud, have a nice day. Tai, you keep him in here for safekeeping! Fishface, you come with me! And wear the beanie!"

"And take down the camera!" Sage added, following Roxie.

[Setting: Eddy's House...]

"Where is Ed?" Eddy looked at his watch. "He should be back here by now! I don't think any of them would be smart enough to know that he was spying on them. Well, if he stuck to the dialogue we gave him, at least."

"I'm sure Sage would know." Edd piped up.

"You would think that, Double D."

Suddenly, someone began pounding on the door.

"That must be him now with the dirt!" Eddy opened the door and was tackled by Roxie, Sage standing behind her awkwardly.

"You...dirty...son...of...a...cougar!" She yelled in between punches.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Edd murmured.

Eddy finally threw Roxie off. She hit her head on the wall while landing. "What is your problem?" He growled.

"You sent Ed over there to spy on us!" She screeched. "That's just low! And you'll never find out my top-secret plan!"

"But, Roxie," Sage whispered to her, "you don't have a plan."

Roxie elbowed her in the ribs. "Shut up, Fishface!"

"Fishface?" Eddy laughed. "That's a riot! Fishface!"

Sage blushed.

Edd snickered into his hand.

"We're going to take you guys down!" Roxie snarled.

"Oh, yeah? You and what army? Ditzy and Fishface?"

"Hey!" Sage growled. "Never call my friend ditzy! She's smarter than you'll ever be, you self-aggrandizing, egotistical, self-centered blowhard!"

"What?"

"You heard what I said!"

"That's about the weakest insult I've ever heard."

"Well, sock-for-brains, it would be!" Her eyes locked on Edd's sock hat. "Um, no offense." She chuckled sheepishly.

"Oh, none taken." Edd replied nonchalantly.

"I knew you didn't have a scam." Eddy smiled smugly. "You don't tangle with the expert!"

"Okay, well, I've got a better idea to see who's going to run this cul-de-sac." Roxie smirked.

"You just don't give up, do you?"

"Nope. See, the other day at school, I noticed something interesting..."

[Setting: Sage's House, as this is all happening...]

"You don't talk much, do you?" Tai, security camera in hand, stared at Ed, who had been staring back at her for the last ten minutes.

"My mom and dad say I talk too much!" He replied.

"Oh. Okay. Um...do you know how to play poker?"

He blinked. "No."

"Neither do I." She looked down at the floor. "Well, this is awkward. What do you usually talk about with the other Eds?"

"Eddy is usually thinking of scams and Edd is usually saying something smart that nobody understands and that makes no sense and I usually like chickens!"

"Oh. I like mongooses better. And unicorns."

"Unicorns?" Ed exclaimed fearfully. "Unicorns will chase you around and impale you with their horns!"

"No, they wouldn't!" Tai stood up, though she was as unassured as he was. Would unicorns really betray her like that? "Well," she sat down, a bit sheepishly, "thank you for warning me. I kind of overreacted there."

"Do you have any gravy in here?" He ran over to Sage's fridge and rummaged through it, grabbing a chicken leg and gnawing off a piece.

"No, I don't think we do." She gulped, staring at the mess of food encompassing the kitchen. "Sage will be really mad when she finds out that you made this mess."

"What mess?" He stared blankly at her.

She didn't respond.

He took another large bite of the chicken leg.

"Oh, boy." She groaned. "This is going to be a long afternoon."

[Setting: PCJH...]

"Hey, Fishface?" Roxie tapped Sage on the shoulder.

"Stop calling me that!" She groaned.

"Well, it looks like I've had at least some influence on you." She nodded upwards to the beanie that remained on her head.

"Oh, this?" She smiled. "Well, I, um, I kinda like this hat. It's cute."

"And it looks great on you, Blondie!"

"Why can't you call me that instead?"

"Why would I steal the name of a great band?"

Sage sighed. "Well, what is it you want?"

"Have you seen the ads for Student Body President?"

"Yeah. Seems interesting."

"I'm glad."

"Why?"

"Because you're running."

"What?!"

"Yeah, I put my bets on you. I'm acting as your campaign manager!"

"Well, who am I running against?"

"Oh, just Double D."

"Roxie!" Sage groaned. "This doesn't have anything to do with your little rivalry with Eddy, does it?"

"Well, we called off the scam-off for now."

"But I'm going to be so busy with the play and all!"

"Man up, Fishface!" She slapped Sage on the back. "Madame Presidente, you're going to wow this crowd!"

"I just know I'm going to regret this." She sighed, slamming her head against the locker door.


	8. Tai, Sage & Roxie's Frightfest

A/N: Halloween episode! Jonny listens to Taylor Swift…Teehee.

[Setting: Sage's House...]

Sage opened the door and flopped down on her bed, while Roxie and Tai sat on the floor.

"What's up?" Roxie asked.

"Just got the mail." Sage replied, flipping through the envelopes. "Bill. Bill. Advertisement. Bill...Hello, what's this?"

She grabbed the letter. "It's from Nazz." She ripped the envelope apart, accidentally tearing a corner off the real paper.

"Nice job, Roxie."

"It says here that we're invited to a Halloween party at her house. But we have to be in costume."

"Costumes?" Tai squealed. "That sounds great!"

"What are we going to dress up as?" Sage inquired.

"Well," Roxie began, "I bought you something for later use, but if you want to use it as a costume, that'd be great."

"What is it?"

She opened Sage's closet to reveal a pink dress with a darker pink jacket, a light pink pillbox hat hanging from another wire.

"Jacqueline Onassis Kennedy?" Sage raised an eyebrow at her. "What's the meaning of that?"

"Well, since you're running for Student Body President and all, I thought it would help your chances. It'll show that you're serious about the whole campaign."

"Roxie, that's ridiculous."

"If you don't wear it, as your campaign manager, I will."

"I think that you would look like a big, fluffy, delicious piece of cotton candy if you wore that tonight." Tai giggled.

"See?" Sage exclaimed. "She thinks it's ridiculous too!"

"And I actually have an idea for costumes." She piped up.

"Really?" Roxie acknowledged her.

"Um, I was just thinking...well, it just popped into my head that since I have curly red hair, Sage has long blonde hair, and you have short red hair, we could be..."

[Setting: Same, later...]

"Denton, Denton, you've got no pretension, you're where the heart is, you're okay..." Tai sang gleefully.

"This is...not right." Sage gulped.

She stared into the mirror next to the closet at the pink Jackie O dress, a white jacket over it. When she took off her beanie, she was the spitting image of Janet Weiss from _The Rocky Horror Show_.

"Say what you want, but I look good." Roxie smirked. "You're not taking this away from me." In her sparkly top hat, golden tux, and red bow tie, she looked identical to Columbia.

Tai, in her French maid costume, looked like Magenta. "And I was thinking, we could maybe get the boys in on this."

"The boys who?"

"You know, the Eds."

Her face fell. "You know how I feel about them edging in on our plans." She snarled.

"Come on, it's Halloween!" She stepped forward solemnly. "Don't you know what Halloween is really all about?"

"What is it really all about?" Sage repeated.

The room darkened and a spotlight shone on Tai. "And there were in the same country zombies abiding in the field, keeping watch over their brain stash by night. And lo, the minion of the Pumpkin King came upon them, and the glory of the Pumpkin King shone round about them: and they were calling out for brains. And the minion said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you Halloween candy of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is started this day the tradition of trick-or-treating, which is awesome. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the candy contained in a cheap plastic bowl, sitting at lazy people's doorsteps.' And suddenly there was with the minion a multitude of chocolate bars, praising the Pumpkin King, for they had one word to say: plastics." She turned back to them as the room lightened up again. "That's what Halloween is all about, Sage."

They stared blankly at her, jaws open.

"That made no sense." Sage gaped. "And was a little bit offensive."

"If you never tell that story again, I'll let you bring the Eds into this." Roxie bargained.

"Okay!" Tai grinned, skipping off.

Roxie and Sage followed her.

[Setting: Eddy's House...]

Eddy came in, several letters in hand. "Let's see...bill. Junk mail. Bill. Death threat. Bill."

"Did you just say...?" Edd turned pale.

"Yeah, I know, those greedy government officials. Wait, what's this?"

He carefully took the letter from Eddy's hands. "It seems to be from Nazz." He opened it. "It appears that..."

Just then, the door fell open, crushing Edd, and Tai popped out, Sage and Roxie behind her. "Nazz is having a Halloween party and we're going as _Rocky Horror _characters and we want you to go with us!"

"Tai!" Sage exclaimed.

Tai looked under her. "Oops! Sorry, Double D." She lifted the door off of him.

Sage extended her hand out. "Here, let me help you." She lifted him up, smiling sheepishly.

"Oh my God." Eddy's jaw nearly dropped. "You guys..."

"I know, we look great, don't we?" Tai struck a pose.

"You look like people out of one of Eddy's magazines!" Ed exclaimed, a little excitedly, but very startled.

"That does it, I'm going home." Sage headed out, but Roxie grabbed her arm.

"You're not leaving!" She snapped. "We need you to help negotiate!"

"Look," Tai started, "we wanted to know if you guys would dress up with us. Ed, you can be Riff Raff, who's my brother, and you get to wear cool hair extensions and a hunch on your back. Awesome, right?"

"Sounds scary!" Ed grinned. "I'm in!"

"Great! Double D, you can be Brad Majors, the fiancé of the lovely Janet Weiss." She pushed Sage in front of Edd.

"Um, we don't have to be engaged in, um, real life." Sage murmured.

"And Eddy, you can be...well, Eddie. You date Roxie until you get killed."

"What a deal." Eddy grumbled.

"You never mentioned that to me." Roxie fumed.

"Are you going to disappoint the Pumpkin King?" Tai whimpered.

"I'll get your Pumpkin King someday..."

"So do you want to do it?"

"What's in it for us?" Eddy inquired.

"I'll buy you jawbreakers."

"Jawbreakers?!" Ed exclaimed. "Come on, Eddy, we need to do it!"

"Why weren't we offered jawbreakers?" Roxie scoffed.

"Because you're my friends and friends don''t bribe friends." Tai nodded.

She rolled her eyes.

"And someday, I'll owe you both a favor."

Sage smiled in acknowledgement.

"Okay, we'll do it." Edd nodded.

"Yay!" Tai squealed, jumping up and down. "My plan is coming into effect! O Great Pumpkin King, I shall do your will on Earth!"

"Is she serious about this whole Pumpkin King thing?" He whispered to Sage, who bit her lip and nodded.

[Setting: Nazz's House...]

"We're here!" Tai grinned, opening the door.

Ed had hair extensions on his head and a red jacket, Edd had a brown jacket over his red shirt and glasses, and Eddy had on a leather jacket with his hair done up like Eddie's.

However, the room was so dark, no one could see their costumes.

"It's pitch black." Sage observed.

"Thanks, genius." Roxie deadpanned.

"Guys?" Tai called, venturing further into the room. "Nazz? Hello?"

Just then, a single lightbulb lit up on the ceiling. The room was empty.

"Well, this is weird." Sage shivered a bit. "I'm sort of creeped out."

A crash of thunder roared and lightning shone through the windows. The shutters closed suddenly.

"Holy Einstein!" She clutched Edd's arm in fear. "What the heck was that?!"

"It was just rain." He reassured her. "In Peach Creek, when it rains, it pours."

More thunder and lightning.

Roxie screamed and jumped into Eddy's arms. After she calmed down, she pushed away from him as fast as she could. "That never happened." She growled.

"There must be zombies around here somewhere," Ed whispered, paranoid, "ready to jump out and feast on our sweet, sweet brain juices, and-"

"Stop talking!" Tai exclaimed suddenly.

They all stared at her.

"Sorry," she giggled sheepishly, "but we do need to stick together. How about we split up? I'll go with Ed. He seems the most knowledgeable about what to do if we get ambushed by zombies. He's like Peach Creek's Max Brooks."

"Who?" Roxie asked.

"Max Brooks, son of Mel Brooks." Sage explained.

"Who's that?"

"He's-"

"Never mind! I don't even care!"

"Well, okay, then." She sighed. "Um, I guess I'll go with Double D. He's really smart, and I'm really smart, so we can, I don't know, be smart together."

"Yeah, right, you just want an excuse to be alone with him!"

She turned absolutely pale. "Roxie!" She hissed.

"So if we're splitting up, I'm stuck with Eddy?" She was ranting now. "Great! The last thing I need is to be stuck with _him_."

"Roxie, please," Tai pleaded in her soft-spoken way, "why can't we all just get along and survive this whole night?"

"Why don't we just leave?" Sage suggested.

"What, and ruin the plot?" Eddy shot back. "Besides, I at least want to know what's going on!"

"Okay!" Tai grinned. "Let's go! Ed and I will search Nazz's bedroom. Roxie and Eddy, you guys search the kitchen. So Sage and Double D, that leaves you guys with the basement!"

Roxie took Sage's hand and let it go, hanging her head. "Fishface, we hardly knew ye."

"Fishface." Eddy snickered. "That never gets old."

"Let's just go." Sage and Edd wandered down the stairs, Ed and Tai headed upstairs, and Roxie and Eddy just went into the other room.

[Setting: Nazz's Bedroom...]

"I feel like we're kind of violating her space up here." Tai murmured.

Ed bent down and looked under Nazz's bed. "Hello?" He called. "Anyone?"

"Good idea. Hello? Who's here? Answer me!"

"No one." He shot back up.

She gulped. "Hey, Ed...do you really believe in monsters?"

He blinked, then shook his head. "No, I don't. But wouldn't it be so cool if they were real?! I think that maybe, if I say they exist, they will, because some species go into hiding on the edge of the universe, so it doesn't technically mean they exist, but they're there, just unofficially."

"Whoa." Tai's eyes widened. "Like the unicorns! I think I get what you're saying."

He smiled.

"You know, you might be smarter than I've ever given you credit for. Or anyone, for that matter."

"Have you ever had buttered toast?"

"I'm lactose intolerant...I think. So no."

He gasped. "Nonbeliever!" He pointed accusingly at her.

"But I'm sure it's very good!" She backed into a closet. It opened and she fell in, landing in someone's lap.

"Now you're ours forever!"

She screamed and ran out of the closet.

[Setting: Nazz's Kitchen...]

Roxie opened the fridge, then closed it. "I'd be really impressed with someone who could hide in the fridge." She bit her lip.

"Where are they?" Eddy asked impatiently. "I wish they'd just stop this whole thing and reveal themselves!"

"Well, are they even here?"

"How should I know?"

"You know, you don't always have to be such a jerk." She snapped. "I don't know if you were dropped on your head as a baby or something, but I'm only human, and so are you."

"You want to know what happened to me when I was younger? My brother beat me up all the time. He's the greatest guy in the world, but when I say he taught me everything I know, I mean _everything_."

Roxie's face fell. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't need any pity. And why am I even telling this to you in the first place?"

She gulped. "I'll tell you what happened to me."

He stopped. "Fine, whatever."

"My sister Jenna-"

"I thought you said it was Brenda."

"It's a lot of things. Anyways, my sister Marina was-_is_ really tall and pretty...and I used to be really short and fat and ugly. I went through two packs of Oreos a day. She used to make fun of me all the time."

"Why does your sister have so many names?"

"I don't know, she just doesn't like having other people tell her who to be. She doesn't like having people tell her what her name is."

"Does she not like people telling her what her gender is either? Does she tell people she's a boy?"

She stifled a laugh, merely emitting a smile. "That was kind of funny. So I guess we know each other's whole sibling drama stuff now. Is this Mutually Assured Blackmail?"

Eddy paused. "How about we just keep this between us? I mean, the whole neighborhood already knows about my brother, but this whole confrontation, can we keep it between us?"

"Sure." She got up on the counter and opened up a cabinet. "Let's see here..."

"Who dares disturb us?"

She jumped, startled, and fell down.

Eddy ran to catch her, but missed her.

"Ow!" She winced.

"What's going on?"

"Up there! There's-"

"We're here for your souls!"

"There they are again! That voice!"

"There's no escaping us now!"

[Setting: Nazz's Basement...]

"It sure is dark and spooky down here..." Sage murmured, holding a flashlight in one hand and Edd's hand in the other. She suddenly became aware of that. "Sorry that I'm being so clingy, i just...I get scared easily." She blushed.

"It's all right." He reassured her. "There can't be anything so terrible down here."

"Well, that depends. Do the other kids know...or did it eat them?"

He gulped. "What's 'it?'"

"I don't know, whatever's in here!"

"Are you sure we're not alone?"

"Well...I don't know, besides the others in our group. We could be, but on the other hand..."

"Well, don't worry." He didn't sound so relaxed himself.

"At least someone's with me." Sage smiled. "I'm glad it's you. Ed or Tai would probably be talking about zombies or unicorns. Eddy doesn't particularly care for me, I know. And Roxie? She'd probably just be mad at me for being scared."

"What is it she calls you? 'Fishface?'"

"She said I needed a nickname."

"You don't have a fish face, though."

"No, but she just thinks that it's funny to call me that."

"Maybe something that suits your personality better...like Egghead."

She giggled. "I like that. You know, you're pretty smart yourself."

"Thank you."

Sage sighed. "I don't get why we have to compete with each other. I mean, I don't even really want to be Student Body President anyways."

"I kind of do." He shrugged sheepishly.

"Well...hey! I have an idea! Maybe I could help you with your campaign, and nobody else has to know!"

"That would actually be great." He grinned. "We'll have to spend a lot of time together, though."

"No skin off my nose." She tried not to blush, but couldn't help herself.

"We'd know if you did that."

She turned around frantically. "Who was that?"

"It was us."

Sage wrapped her arms around Edd. "Oh my Chekhov, what's going on?"

"Ha! Rolf has never seen such chipmunk-like weakness!"

"Dude, chipmunks are dangerous. One almost tore my face off once."

"Wait a sec..." Edd was confused, as was Sage. "Rolf? Nazz?"

"Dang!" Nazz emerged from behind a box, Rolf in tow. "How did you know it was us?"

"Maybe the part where you started sounding like yourselves?" Sage was still quivering.

Nazz noticed her and laughed a little. "You were so scared! You should've seen the look on your face!"

"Do you know how much you scared her?" Edd snapped. "I don't think it's exactly fair for you to laugh at her like that!"

"Whoa. Don't have a cow, Double D. We were only kidding."

Sage lowered her eyes.

"Wait, what happened to the others?" Edd asked.

"Same thing." Tai entered with Ed, a slightly tearful Jimmy, and Sarah. "These little twerps were hiding in the closet. But they forgot who they were messing with."

"She threw Mr. Yum Yum out the window." Jimmy whined. "Now I have to go get him back!" He and Sarah rushed outside.

"Tai...I didn't know you had that in you." Edd's eyes widened.

"You should've seen her that time we babysat." Roxie joined them with Eddy, Kevin, and Jonny, who was holding Plank. "Four words for you: it just got real."

"They were in the cabinet." Eddy stated.

"Believe me, it was unpleasant being in a cramped space with that guy for so long." Kevin groaned.

"Excuse me, I believe you mean _guys_!" Jonny snapped. "Don't worry, buddy, someday they'll realize what a big mistake they made ignoring you. When we're big and famous, we'll just shrug them off, like Taylor Swift says!" He murmured to Plank.

"That kid scares me." Roxie shook her head.

"Sorry if we really scared you guys." Nazz shrugged. "It was just too good to pass up. Now who wants jawbreakers?"

"We do!" Kevin, Jonny, Ed, Eddy, Rolf and the returned Sarah and Jimmy grinned.

"I guess it's the least you can do." Roxie crossed her arms, a smirk on her face.

They all headed back upstairs, Edd and Sage lagging a little bit behind.

"Um...Double D?" She spoke up.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for defending me."

"No problem."

She hesitated, heart pounding, but eventually leaned over and gave him a small peck on the cheek.

He grinned widely, warmth filling his whole body.

"Let's go get some jawbreakers." She took his hand again as they went upstairs.


	9. All She Wants Is to Be AcceptEd

A/N: Back! Wow, this story's getting really hectic. This is just some Sage/Edd stuff. I just felt like I needed to sort out some issues with the play and the campaign. Sorry for the short chapter.

[Setting: Edd's House...]

Sage and Edd laid down on his bedroom floor, staring up at the ceiling.

"Okay." She sat up. "Enough procrastinating. What are we going to do about the campaign?"

"Well, let's start with your ideas." He suggested.

"Fine, you little weasel." She teased. "So I don't want to go with the whole standard presidential thing, and this is what Roxie wants for me, which is making promises and holding babies and trying to look intellectual - which you are, so don't worry, but still, we need to get down to the raw center of our student government."

"Which is?"

"It doesn't matter what it is now. It's what you're going to make it. The people don't want to know what other people did, it's what you're going to do, what you're going to change."

"But I thought you said no making promises."

"Not saying you're _going _to do it, per se, but that you'll try. It's best not to lull them into a false sense of security."

"But don't we want them to feel secure?"

"Yes! No! I don't know!" She hit her head on the wall. "Look, I'm not the greatest campaign manager-"

"But then again, neither is Roxie." Edd reassured her.

"Right." She sighed. "But whether or not I do a good job, this all depends on you. And I'm running against you, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." He frowned.

"And whatever happens...can we please keep Tai and Roxie out of this? They mean well, but...they just don't listen a whole lot. Well, Tai can't help it, but..."

"I know how you feel." He grinned at her. "I really didn't want to play Randy in _That '50s Musical! _but Eddy made me do it. I would've just given the part to Ed, but he wouldn't let me."

"By the way, what part _did _Ed get?"

"A tree. He's taken it really well. You should see him during photosynthesis."

"Yeah, I think I'll pass." She smiled. "Um, why did Eddy make you do it?"

"Because he thought it would be funny. I mean, as you can see, I'm obviously not a greaser."

"Yeah. And, in real life...since when am I a lead? Roxie's always been the outlandish one, and Tai's the crazy one, and I'm..." She giggled. "I'm the egghead. Like you said."

"It's a better nickname than Fishface, that's for sure."

She rolled her eyes dramatically, though a smile was visible on her face. "Tell me about it."

"You know, I think you make a very good lead. I mean, during rehearsals, you deliver the lines so well, and your singing voice is just..." He trailed off.

"Thanks." She blushed. "I, um...I used to sing a lot back home, but never for anyone else. You know, I haven't heard you sing yet."

"I don't sing very well."

"Do you play any instruments?"

"Well, I play the steel guitar, but it's just so annoying."

"Really? I always thought the steel guitar was kind of cool."

"Well, it's not so bad..." He stammered.

Sage giggled. "It's okay. You don't have to say you like it for me. But then, why did you learn it?"

"Because Eddy wanted to start a band, so he was playing guitar, and quite badly at that, and Ed was on the drums, which he kept eating, and I had to learn something, so I found the steel guitar that used to belong to my grandfather and learned to play it."

"That's cool!" She nodded. "I play piano. When I was little, I had this dream of becoming a virtuoso. Now that I think of it, I've always wanted that since the day I started playing."

Noticing how wistful she'd gotten, Edd took her hand. "Well, you're one step closer every lesson, right?"

"I wish." She looked down. "I stopped playing a long time ago. After...well, this thing."

"What thing?"

"Look, we're getting off track." She jerked her hand away. "We came here to talk about the campaign."

"I'm sorry." He apologized.

"It's okay." She laid back down on the floor again. "Sometimes I just want to pretend that nothing's happening. I want to be like Jonny, refusing to believe that something isn't true."

"I get it." He put a hand on her shoulder. "Just don't tell Jonny you said that."

Sage smiled weakly. "Well then, we'll just have to keep that between us, won't we?"

At least it was something she would share with someone. She really liked Edd, but she couldn't tell him about the incident yet.


	10. This Was Where Things ExplodEd

A/N: Oh, boy, here we go. This is kind of going to be where things get crazy and dramatic.

[Setting: Sage's House...]

"Sage?" Roxie called, coming in through the window a couple afternoons later. "Sage? Are you home?"

"I'm in the kitchen!" She called from downstairs. "Just chill out!"

"Okay. Tai, come on up!"

Tai tripped on the last rung of the ladder and fell into the bedroom. "Ugh!" She rubbed her head. "We really need to think of a better system than this!"

"Maybe Sage has an idea." Roxie flopped down on her bed. "I am so tired from all this campaign stuff. I work much too hard." She laid her head down on the pillow and her eyes locked on a tan folder labeled "Election." "Oh, so she's been working on it by herself?"

"Working on what?"

"The campaign. There's some folder that I haven't seen before." Roxie grabbed it and opened it. "What the...this is all full of Double D's campaign plans!" She grinned. "Oh, that little twerp, she finally went and did it! She stole Double D's stuff!"

"That doesn't sound like her." Tai frowned.

"Okay, guys, what's up?" Sage grinned, entering the room.

"I can't believe it!" Roxie exclaimed, laughing. "You finally double-crossed the Eds like I wanted you to!"

"Wait, what?" She asked.

"You stole Double D's campaign stuff, didn't you? Nice job, Fishface."

"Oh." She giggled nervously. "Yeah, uh...'stole.' Right."

Roxie narrowed her eyes at Sage. "There's something you're not telling me."

"Whatever do you mean, Roxie?"

"Sage, I'm your best friend and campaign manager. You know you can tell me anything."

"What about me?" Tai whined.

"And she's Tai. She'll forget everything you say within five seconds, so you can tell her."

"I'll do what within five seconds?"

"Okay." Sage sighed. "Um...I shouldn't tell you this."

"Sage, if you don't tell me, I'll lock you up in a room with Jimmy and Sarah." Roxie threatened.

"You wouldn't. No, wait a minute, you would."

"You got that right. Now what's it going to be?"

"Okay, fine, I'll tell you!" Sage groaned, exasperated. "Um...I've kind of been helping Double D with his campaign."

"To bring him down from under him?" A glimmer of hope shone in Roxie's eyes.

"No, to help him win."

Her face suddenly darkened, a deep scowl emerging. "You threw away all of our hard work just to let your stupid boyfriend win!"

"_Our _hard work?! _You're_ the only one who wanted this! Why didn't you just run yourself?"

"Because who would vote for me? They want the smart one! Besides, I knew you would win against Double D!"

"So that's what this whole thing is about! You used me as a pawn to be superior!"

"So what if I did? I was going to get you a real position in leadership! I know you wanted that! You wanted to be important! But this place has changed you! All you want now is to cuddle with Loverboy!"

"I can't help it, Roxie! He's my friend, even though I care about him as more than a friend! It's not like you care about me anymore than he does!"

"Come on, I stuck by you through all of your hard times!" She frowned. "We're best friends, Sage! Or at least, I thought we were!"

"Guys," Tai whimpered helplessly, "please stop."

"We are!" Sage yelled in reply to Roxie. "You know what, maybe the reason why you feel the need to be so superior is because you haven't had control over yourself since that sleepover we had back home, and now you want control over everyone else!"

"Look who's talking, _Klutzy the Crutch_!" Roxie hollered back.

She gasped. Then she scowled, a terrible look on her face that neither of them had ever seen before. "Get out of my house."

"Or what?"

"_Get out of my house_!" Sage screamed. "Both of you! I never want to see you again!"

"Fine." Roxie climbed out the window. "Let's go, Tai."

Tai was frozen, but eventually, she slinked out the window as well.

Sage, alone, sat down on her bed, shell-shocked.

[Setting: Park n' Flush...]

"Well, this is the place." Roxie nodded, facing a worn-out trailer.

"It's nice that you found somewhere else to live," Tai sighed, "but here? It's so...eerie."

"Stop complaining! At least we're living somewhere."

"Hey, look, girls," a familiar, husky voice was heard, "new neighbors."

"Wait a second...not you guys!"

"Hey," Lee recognized them, "you're those punks from school! Where's Blondie?"

"Don't mention her." Roxie scowled.

"Are you guys going to live her?" May frowned.

"We're not going to stand for having these tramps in our turf, are we, girls?" Marie sneered.

"Come on, we can take you!" Roxie snarled.

"I don't want to take them." Tai tapped her on the shoulder.

"Shut up!" She hissed. "If they want a fight, they're getting a fight!"

While she was caught off guard, Lee ran over and punched her in the jaw. She was hurt for a moment, then rose up, kicked her in the shin, and punched her in the stomach. Lee doubled over.

While Marie and Roxie fought, May tried to knock Tai out, but she blocked her punch and pushed her into one of the trailers.

"Oh, no," Tai worried, "what did I just do? I'm so terrible. Look, can't we just talk this out? It'll be-"

May retaliated by shoving her down and holding her on the ground with her foot.

"Of course, you realize this means war." Tai growled. She grabbed May's foot and sent her down. She picked her up and threw her into a trash can, ending the fight.

Roxie joined Tai, Marie already seeing stars. "Come on, let's go check out our new home."

"I don't like our neighbors very much." She sighed.

"You can say that again."

"Okay, I don't like our neighbors very much."

Roxie stared blankly at her.

"What?"

"Let's just go in."

The inside of the trailer only consisted of a fridge, a couch, and a TV. The owner had left some of this stuff behind.

"Let me see if there's any food in the fridge." Tai wondered.

While she looked at that, Roxie laid down on the couch. Suddenly, she began to cry.

"What's wrong?" She hurried over to her.

"I've hurt so many people." She sobbed. "Sage, the Kankers, the Eds...I'm just so mean to everyone and I don't know why."

"Roxie...I'm not a psychologist...but does this have anything to do with the sleepover? I mean, since Sage brought it up-"

She began to cry even harder.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"No, it's okay." She calmed down, wiping some tears away. "I...I don't do it anymore, so it's fine."

"It's your sister's fault. Telling you that throwing up will make you thinner was just wrong of her. I'm glad she's gone. Good riddance."

"But it did, and that's what matters. But I swore I wouldn't do it anymore once I was thin."

"And now you are, Roxie. And you never should have done it in the first place, but...it's our fault for not helping you."

"Tai..." Tears welled up in her eyes. "That doesn't excuse what I've said to other people. I don't hate the Eds. In fact, I even like Eddy. He seems like a pretty okay guy, but...I don't know."

"Roxie, it's fine. We all make mistakes."

"I'm sorry for being such a jerk."

"Roxie..."

"What?"

Tai looked at her with a gaze that was almost motherly, one of love and forgiveness. "It's okay. But we both know that I'm not the one who deserves the apology."

[Setting: PCJH, in the auditorium...]

It was the day of the election, and Edd and Sage were on the stage, ready to begin their debates.

"Good luck, Sage." He smiled.

"Right back at you." She replied. "I hope all our hard works pays off."

"Speaking of, where are Tai and Roxie?"

Sage lowered her eyes. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"I saw them somewhere here, but-"

"Double D, please."

"Is something wrong?" He asked considerately.

"It's fine. Do well."

"You too."

"We will now begin the debates for Student Body President of Peach Creek Junior High!" Nazz announced, her voice booming because of the microphone held near her face. "First up, we have Double D!"

Edd stepped forward. "A lot of false promises have been made in these campaigns over the years. I say that if I'm elected, I'll try to do what you want. I will try my absolute hardest, but I'm going to be honest with you and say that I can't guarantee it. I think we need a president who can be honest and realistic with the students."

Sage beamed. _He's got to win_.

"Please support me, and I will do everything in my power to support you."

The crowd clapped and Nazz stepped forward again.

"Next, we have Sage!"

Sage stepped forward. She opened her mouth to begin her speech, but no words came out.

The crowd became a blur - everything was dizzy. Her ears were ringing and her throat was dry.

She begin to hyperventilate, as it became more of an issue to breathe.

Suddenly, she found herself on a different stage years ago. She heard a voice in her head.

"Then how about I do it _for you_?!"

Sage's eyes rolled to the back of her head and she collapsed, in front of everyone, right there on the stage.


	11. RedheadEd Knockout

A/N: This was fun! Sorry if the song is bad. So…second-to-last chapter. Don't worry; there's a Christmas special coming! And yes, the rival ballerina was named after the character in _Ghost World_. Ain't I a stinker? *chews carrot*

[Setting: PCJH auditorium...]

Edd carried Sage backstage. She was still out cold.

"Double D!" Roxie panted, running in with Tai. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know." He shook his head. "She's still unconscious."

"Oh, no...Tai, I'm going to go get the nurse! Double D, come with me!"

As they ran off, Tai looked after them. "What if I wanted to go to the nurse?" She scowled. "It's always Roxie, Roxie, Roxie! What if I want to be the leader?"

"Calm down, woman!"

She turned around. "Who said that?"

A light flashed from the sky...and standing there was Plank.

_"Your story's sad to tell_

_A young redheaded belle_

_A very sad and confused unicorn_

_The future's so unclear now_

_For ones you hold so dear now_

_How will you ever earn your golden horn?"_

"Plank..." Tai gasped, "...are you talking?" She shook her head. "I need to lay off the Pixi Stix."

_"Redheaded knockout_

_No presidential day for you_

_Redheaded knockout_

_Trying so hard to not feel blue_

_Well at least you could have taken time to make sure the nurse shows up_

_Cause you're taking time to make sure Roxie's temper never blows up_

_Baby get moving_

_What does it mean to be alive?_

_They're disapproving_

_You can't perfect your sad hand jive_

_If you study hard and practice, onstage you'll look real cool_

_Turn in your feeble hopes and stay in middle school_

_Redhead knockout_

_Hanging around the candy store_

_Redheaded knockout_

_Roxie has left you wanting more_

_Well, you're very optimistic, girl_

_You won't think of the grim, though_

_But you're constantly denying facts:_

_All you are is a bimbo."_

"Hey!"

_"Baby, don't sweat it_

_You're not cut out to lead the crowd_

_But don't you bet it_

_All of us know you can be loud_

_Now your hair is curled, your plans unfurled, but still the world is cruel_

_Why don't you just calm down and stay in middle school?_

_Baby, don't blow it_

_Someday, the world will know your name_

_Trust me, I know it_

_The world will be changed; you'll be to blame_

_You're put on the spot, prepared you're not, but it can't hurt to try_

_Now I'll be going to that forest in the sky_

_Redheaded knockout_

_Stay in middle school_

_Redheaded knockout_

_Stay in middle school_

_Redheaded knockout_

_Stay in middle school..."_

"What just happened?" Tai asked herself as Plank disappeared into the sky.

[Setting: PCJH nurse's office...]

"What brought this on?" Edd asked.

"It all started the day we first met, actually." Roxie sighed. "It was at her dance recital a long time ago..."

[Flashback: A stage at the place Sage used to live...]

Sage was hyperventilating backstage.

"My sweethearts!" The dance teacher called. "Tonight is the big night. None of you are going to do badly! If you do, don't worry. But rest assured, there will be consequences."

As the other young ballerinas worried, the teacher pulled aside Sage and another girl, Melorra Hutchinson. "My stars...do well. Don't screw up the show." She patted them on their heads, smiling brightly.

"Break a leg, Sage." Melorra hissed at her.

"Mel, I know that's good luck in theater," Sage argued, "but you don't tell dancers to break a leg! It's the last thing I want to do. But I hope you have a good dance."

"Dancers!" The dance teacher clapped. "Onstage!"

As they fell into line, Melorra whispered, "Oh, yeah? Then how about I do it _for you_?!"

They walked onstage, Sage tripping over her rival's extended leg, tumbling into everyone in front of her.

"Ow! My leg!" She howled. "I think I broke my leg!"

[Setting: PCJH nurse's office...]

"What happened after that?" Edd frowned. The thought of anything like that happening to Sage made him unhappy.

"The dance teacher kicked her out." Roxie sighed. "'No klutzes in my class,' she said. Then Tai and I found her crying and we took her in. The rest, as they say, is history. That's also the reason why we're here. Melorra just magically showed up to take piano lessons in the slot after her and promptly began to terrorize her."

"That's terrible."

"Huh?" Sage slowly stirred. "What's terrible?"

"Sage..." Roxie smiled warmly.

"Roxie...what are you doing here?"

"Oh, Sage, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean any of what I said!"

"I'm sorry too, Roxie. I really want you to move back in. So much that I finally told my parents."

"You told your parents?" She gasped.

"Yeah. After the play, I'm grounded for two weeks, but it's all worth it to have you guys stay! By the way, where'd you go?"

"Next to the Kankers." She groaned. "Tai will be glad to know that we're getting out of there! Oh, I'm sorry, Sage. You'll be perfect in the play."

"Thanks." She locked eyes with Edd. "Double D...what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see if you were okay." He smiled back at her.

"You're so sweet."

"Sage...I think you're beautiful, even when you're not moving."

She laughed.

"Guys!" Tai ran in, slightly sliding on the floor. "I just had an epiphany!"

"Tai?"

"Sage? Oh, thank God, you're up!"

"And we've got some good news." Roxie grinned.


	12. FinishEd

A/N: Well, here it is - last one until the Christmas special comes around. Which, obviously, will be soon. It's been a good run, folks! And read the next one! BTW, sorry if the addition of the three guys seems random, but they might be in the Christmas special.

[Setting: PCJH auditorium...]

Sage stood in between Roxie and Edd, taking a bow with the rest of the cast. She was beaming madly, and it came to her: Peach Creek was her new home at last.

She glanced at Edd out of the corner of her eye. It was her new life.

He grinned at her, the gap between his two front teeth showing.

Roxie playfully shoved Sage forward. The applause was thunderous now.

A tear ran down her cheek. After all the incidents back home, all the humiliation...no one here cared. It was just friendship and happiness and new beginnings.

As the cast headed backstage, the people in the seats still clapping, Roxie wrapped her arm around Sage's shoulders. "You did good, kid." She complimented.

"You really think so?"

"I know so."

"You weren't so bad yourself."

"Sage?" Edd called.

"Yeah?"

"You were stunning up there. I heard about...you know, you and that other girl back home in the recital...and I just can't believe this is the girl in the story."

"You told him that story?" She smacked Roxie's arm.

"Come on," she laughed, "you two are having a freaking moment here, and that's all you can think about?!"

She froze, blushing. _Were we having a moment? _"Um, sorry. Thanks. You were a really good actor."

"You think he's got a career in this?" Eddy snickered, strolling up to them, Ed behind him.

"Don't sell him short. And you would know short, wouldn't you?" Roxie joked.

"You want to go there, ginger?"

"I'm just kidding." She shrugged. "Look, maybe it's just me going soft, but I'm willing to bury the hatchet. I mean, Sage just wants to be happy here, and with all the competition going on, it's clear that's going to be hard for her. So how about it?"

He thought it over. "Fine."

"Great! And besides, I think we'd work a lot better as a team."

"That is true. You're irritating and shallow, but you are clever, I'll give you that."

"Thanks, short stuff. You're pretty brainy yourself."

"No more calling me short."

"No more calling me ginger."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Hey, guys!" Tai ran over to Roxie and Sage, enveloping them in a huge hug. "You were brilliant!"

"So were you, Tai!" Roxie exclaimed. "I mean, I knew you were good, but...wow. You really sold it!"

"Really?" She blushed. "Thanks! Anyways, I just wanted to say that we have visitors."

"Really? Who?"

"Who else, pumpkin?"

"Lisa?" Roxie's eyes widened.

"That's right, little sis!" Her older sister hugged her. "Having fun here?"

"You're not here to take me back to Mom, are you?"

"No, but I heard word that you were here from Sage's folks."

"They told?" She went pale.

"Yeah, but Mom and Dad are going to let you stay for a little while longer."

"Why?"

"Because you're alive, that's why. And they trust Sage a lot."

"And not me?"

"It's understandable."

"Come on, you know you're not responsible either...Gillian."

She frowned. "I told you not to call me by my real name."

"Gillian?" Tai and Sage repeated.

"Gillian." Roxie nodded.

"Just stop." Gillian rolled her eyes. "I just came to see you be in the '50s musical."

"Thanks, big sis. And I've wanted to say something to you this whole time."

"What?"

"You're a jerk."

"Huh?" Her jaw dropped.

"I want to thank you for making me feel so bad about myself, for making me do bad things to myself. You taught me not to take anything from people who didn't like me."

"Roxie...I'm sorry."

"And another thing-what?"

"I'm sorry. I was really stupid then. But...now I'm just happy to have a little sister."

"Oh...well, in that case, I'm really happy to have a big sister."

"Everyone's happy, then."

"Yep." Roxie grinned. "Thanks for visiting!"

"And that's not all!" Tai smiled.

"Hey, where's the party?"

"Guys!" Roxie squealed as she, Tai, and Sage left Gillian behind to hug the boys that had just appeared.

"Who are they?" Eddy inquired.

"Ed, Double D, and Eddy, meet Josh, James, and Jared. They were our neighbors."

"Gillian took us to see you guys." Josh smiled at Tai.

"Really?" Roxie put her elbow on Jared's shoulder playfully.

"Get off me." He shrugged her off.

"You know you missed me, Jared."

"Okay, fine, we did miss you guys."

"But especially me."

"Don't get too high and mighty." Sage laughed.

"Hey!"

They all turned to see the Kanker sisters storming towards them.

"I told you not to go anywhere near my man!" Marie hollered. "Now you're really going to-"

They stopped short, catching sight of the J triplets.

"Whoa." May sighed.

"Girls, I think we may have found our new boyfriends." Lee fluffed one of her curls.

"Boyfriends?" James gulped.

"Run." Sage whispered to him.

They ran for their lives as the Kankers chased after them.

"Poor guys." Gillian shook her head.

"So...who were they?" Edd asked, trying to appear nonchalant.

"Just friends." Sage replied with a slight smirk. "Why, are you jealous?"

"No!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Just a little, but not really!"

"But a little!" She laughed. "Don't worry. I never, you know, _liked _any of them. They were just friends. But I like you."

"Oh." He grinned. "Well, in that case, I like you too."

She leaned over and hugged him. "Double D?" She whispered.

"Yes?"

"I'm home. I know that for sure now."


End file.
